I was so set on not finding out the sex of our baby for months. MONTHS! I even postponed that specific ultra sound because I wasn’t in a rush to find out. Which was the polar opposite of how I was with Jax. With him I lied and said I was going on vacation that week so that I could schedule it and find out a week earlier then I should have.
I was in love with the idea of experiencing the ultimate surprise and being able to hear those amazing words right after delivery; “it’s a …”. It’s not everyday you get the chance to have a surprise that huge and meaningful in your life. And one day I seriously hope to still have that moment. But this was not that time. The second the envelope was handed to me, and I reluctantly handed it over to my husband I knew that I NEEDED to know.
I talked Justin into opening it eventually but he wanted to find out in a special way. We had already discussed a lot of hypothetical ideas over the months and one of our favorites was to wrap the envelope up in a present, put it under the tree and open it Christmas morning. A seriously great idea. And if Christmas was the next morning I would have been all over it. But Christmas is over two months a way and I couldn’t wait that long. So I made what I felt was a great counter offer to open it up that night over a couple of DQ blizzards. It took a little persuading. He thought it wasn’t special enough. But once I explained to him that there was nothing more special than a pregnant women finally getting the thing she has been craving all day, well, he still wasn’t convinced. He did however bring me a blizzard home. And to me that was full permission to tear through that envelope as fast as humanely possible. Even with his judging eyes staring at me the whole time.
Joke was on me.
I stared at the ultra sound for all of 2 seconds and screamed “its a boy!”. Because, well, it looked like a boy. I was digging through the envelope for that little piece of paper that was going to confirm it and Justin said “It’s a girl”. He laughed at me and proved it by showing me the very clear and semi large writing at the bottom of the ultra sound that said …
“Its a girl!”
My heart has smiled ever since and I have no regrets of finding out. I can put a name to the little baby kicking me in the ribs and dream about what she will look like. I can think about her nursery and pick out beautiful outfits. I can prepare for out little girl, Luella Louise. My little LuLou.